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Feeling the love …

Thanks so much for all your warm thoughts and words of sympathy … it means a lot.

So I’ve sat here for half an hour now … not knowing what to say next. I want to say that I saw Grandma lying peacefully in her bed, the rest home staff had put her teeth in and made her look nice and put her Bible on her chest. The funeral director came and spent ages filling in paperwork, he was very sensitive about transferring her body to his stretcher and covering her with a velvet cover, which we watched and even helped with. Then he pushed her out to his car making sure she left the building feet first … very important apparently. We had to go through her things to find a suitable outfit for her to be dressed in and then all her belongings had to be packed up and taken from the room. She is now in Wanganui awaiting Monday’s funeral.

The kids have all reacted differently. They have spent the last 4 years going regularly to the rest home to visit Grandma … that’s most of Jessi’s life … they saw her in bed last Wednesday when she clearly looked unwell, mumbling random thoughts without her teeth in … Rebekah was actually quite a good interpreter! Jessi saw her Friday when she was talking about the baby next to her (a cushion) hoping that he would hurry up and go to sleep so she could get some rest.

So Jessi was full of questions, she saw I had some of Grandma’s belongings in the car yesterday when I picked her up from kindy. We discussed why she didn’t need them any more and that Grandma was no longer there to visit. Alexander asked to just drive past the rest-home one more time. Rebekah was a little more emotional but hasn’t really talked much about it yet … I know she’s taking in all the details … like when we are traveling to Wanganui, who is coming when, what the funeral plans are etc.

So that’s what I want to say … is it wrong to talk so openly about that stuff?

And I also want to write a woo hoot Wednesday post

because there’s also been some pretty cool stuff happen this week.

Friday’s spontaneous trip to a shop in Brooklyn called Swonderful with Janine. I also took her to Inky Pinky in Karori and found some very cool cupcake paper thingys to cook my next batch of cupcakes in.

Saturday’s crop with the girls. Lots of fun … so relaxed … except for the 15mins I spent creating a layout for Lusi’s Friday night challenge at The Sketchbook with Mandy. And Mandy was tough, I wasn’t allowed a second longer that 15mins and she even hid my layout so I didn’t go on doodling and fluffing and stuff. I had such a nice day though, scrapping with good friends who shared stuff and ideas and made cups of coffee and all that …

Coke Zero … but I’ve really got to stop drinking it late at night. I was still bouncing off the walls at 1.30am the morning after the crop.

And I see my layout was voted by the design team at Aussie Scrap Source. Even with the really bad photo of it. Unfortunately I just couldn’t manage a layout or two for them this week … but Lara is still going strong if you want to vote.

The weather today.

Just had to take my camera on my walk today … Wellington on a good day … simply stunning.

Not sure if you can see it but there’s a snow capped mountain right behind those hills and that would be the South Island. I so love my new walking route!

Caring friends also make my woo hoot list too. Cards, flowers, blog and e-mail messages – thank you.

Getting Alexander’s birthday invitations made and out to his friends.

It’s a space party … baking soda rockets in the back yard … alien creations with my craft supplies maybe … any other ideas?

And now I’ve really gotta go do something … I haven’t scrapped since Sunday I think, unless you count the invitations.

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18 Responses

  1. Bloglines is playing up. Great list there Beverley. Love those daffies and with a view like that on such a beautiful day who could ever get sick of it. Those invites rock (what a pun).

    As for death yes it is good to be open about it and talk about the details, it helps with the grieving process. I say each parent knows thier child best and knows how much they will handle. So different when I was a kid and it was “adult” talk only. Looking back now It just confused me by not talking about it and making it something to fear. There are also some good childrens books about death and grief as well.

  2. My thoughts are with you Beverley I’m sure your right Grandma will be watching over you and yours and is at peace.Lovley photo of your daughter and Grandma.

  3. and as for the challenge – you are welcome….. hahaha I love being tough,,,, the teacher in me… and I am a big time keeper for rules… hee hee
    as for the view from the walk- lovely, the daffodils – stunning… and the invites – wow….. good stuff there amongst the not so good….
    been trying to find some stuff on grief and children for you… will look after work (just go back from the presentation, have afternoon session and then a meeting so will look after that)… hope your holding up well

  4. No, it’s not wrong to talk openly about that stuff. I think it can be harmful if you don’t let kids ask the difficult questions and grieve in the way they decide to grieve. However, having not been through it with my kids, I can only imagine how hard it is to deal with. I hope that one day I will be able to ask your advice … I know I will need it. Ethan already asks some hard questions about dying and heaven, and he hasn’t lost anyone really close to him yet. I did have to deal with losing 2 grandparents at a young age myself though, and I can say it was hard when I felt I couldn’t talk about it (because I didn’t want to upset my parents, who were missing their Dad/Mum). So let your kids know they can talk to you, let them see you cry, it will help them.

  5. Aww Beverley.

    It is so right to be open about everything with your kids, including the not so nice side of life. (Age appropriate of course) As you know, our son died, leaving behind his identical twin. Our boys are very matter of fact about the whole circle of life. The funeral home gave me a book on grief for children. Also our church has some, I can source them for you if you want.

    Trying to figure out the lovely photos. I have similar views.

  6. Yep it’s all been said … totally up to you to talk openly about life and death. It was definitely a taboo subject when I was growing up and I recall whisperings around me and naturally felt alienated. Such a wrong thing to do in my opinion. I believe that it’s not something that should be hushed up.

    Love the pics, definitely a summery look about them … may have been quite chilly, but it doesn’t show in the pics.

    Daffy’s – stunning display. I’ve got ‘things’ starting to pop through left, right and centre atm … that’s something I will definitely miss tho – we had ummmmmmmmmm … hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of bulbs at our old house … well not so old, YKWIM.

  7. I remember Alexia as a 4 yr old at her Great Grandmothers funeral with the casket in the back of the car saying in a big loud voice that it was just like Sleeping Beauty. She sure brought a few smiles to a lot of people. I think everythings been said wonderfully by everyone else and the kids will talk when they are ready – usually at the funniest of times too.

  8. so glad that well, life is ticking on still. The kids will ask the tough questions and I think you’re doing a grand job of dealing with them. Being open and honest is hard to do at hard times, but I’m sure they’ll thank you for it in times to come.

    Mmmmm….. I miss that snow capped mountain in the background…. it’s 10 years ago that I had my own take on that spot from our lounge window. Plus I think you’re just skiting about that great view on your walk…. 😆

    Totally love the daffs…. gees, anyone would think spring is almost here… wooohoooo!

  9. Hey Beverly, sorry to hear about your grandmothers death. i think you did a really neat thing involving your children in her life right up to the end. I hope that happens in my life too. Grand parent mean a lot don’t they.

    I have a neat, simple little book called Water bugs and Dragon flies, random, I know, but it’s neat to read to kids about death. I have a few books on grief, (doesn’t everyone???) happy to share. LMK…. xxx

  10. Miss Beverley enjoy your scrapping time…and that young mans rocket birthday.

  11. not wrong at all Beverley, sometimes it easier to write rather than speak. Thanks for sharing.

  12. Echo what the others have said. It’s not wrong to talk about this stuff. Even just the practical side of death – the tidying up of posessions, the funeral arrangements etc etc. It’s about closure. My Dad always says funerals are for the living, and that is so true – we need those finishing touches to a person’s life even though they do not.

    My grandad died a few years ago. His death was the first one I had to deal with personally. It helped that I’d seen him alive a few hours before, comatose and struggling for breath. Then to see his body at peace, the spirit gone from the earthly house was almost like a miracle in a funny kind of way. I knew he had gone to be with the God he loved and so it was helpful for me to see that in a very real “physical” sense.

    Death is part of life.

  13. I think it is wonderful that you have been able to voice your thoughts so beautifully and eloquently. I love how all your kids have reacted differently and will for months to come. I love that she saw her baby towards the end, precious.
    I alos love that you have been able to see some wonderful things in your week despite the sadness you will be feeling.
    Love the card you made for Alexander, you are so, so clever!

  14. . Definitely not wrong at all – you know your kids and what they can handle so well done you on being so open and honest with them. Lots of hugs to you and your family
    Your pics of Wellington are stunning.

  15. So sorry to hear about your grandma. No it’s not wrong to talk openly about death. Seven years ago, my MIL died. About two weeks before that, my much younger boys asked me waht happens to peoples’ bodies when they die. I talked about burial and cremation and what people believe. I also talked about cremation and how Granny wanted her ashes scattered at the race course and where other family members might want their ashes scattered. Then when we went to SA for the funeral and subsequently scattered the ashes, my boys were quite comfortable.

    Glad you had a good day scrapping – pity I didn’t know about it

  16. Lotsa hugs Bev. (((((((((((((()))))))))))

    Gail

  17. Hugs Beverley, love the shots of the weather – looks so serene – just what you needed huh?

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